“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” -Napoleon Hill, Think & Grow Rich

Does this statement make sense to you at all?

Can you think of a time in your life when your progress to a goal was derailed by an adversity?

Or when you failed miserably at something you were trying for the first time? Or when you had your heart broken? 

I can, and I bet you can, too. At the time, do you remember thinking, “Yay, I just got my heart broken. Must be something good right around the corner.” Or, “Yay, I just publicly face-planted with an epic fail. Looks like sunshine and lollipops from now on.”

Yeah, me neither.

Until I understood some things about seeds. It turns out seeds need to be planted in good, rich soil. And watered without drowning them. And given enough sunshine. Then, and only then, will they sprout and flourish. 

Napoleon Hill didn’t say the adversity, failure, or heartbreak provides a greater benefit. He said it provides the seed of one. It’s not about what happens to me, it’s about what I do with it. So, how do you turn that seed into a harvest?

It begins with taking enough time to get over feeling sorry for myself. With practice, you can turn weeks and days into a few hours. Then, take a look at the facts. What happened? Who is responsible? This was a sticky question for me because I always wanted to deflect. It’s not my fault! Until I realized it’s never 100% me, and it’s never 100% not me. It’s somewhere in between. And that turns out to be a relief and the gateway to the next answer. 

The next question to ask yourself is, “Is this adversity, failure or heartbreak major or minor?”  

Until I took some of the responsibility, everything felt major. It wasn’t really life-threatening, it just seemed like it was. Stopping to get some perspective helps give the situation context. 

These steps prepare the soil for the seed. The waters that bring the seed to life are the lessons learned from this experience.  So you ask yourself, “What did I learn?” Once answered, you allow the sunlight to illuminate the path and prevent this from happening again.

That’s the magic formula for being able to let go and go on. 

Yes, there are some failures and heartbreaks we may never get over, but we can get past them. Especially if we acknowledge the value of the lesson learned, and install preventive measures.

The benefits from the seed come in many shapes and sizes, and sometimes they are well disguised. A home purchase falls apart but it paves the way for the perfect buyer to step in who is willing to pay more. A job is lost due to layoffs, but a better-paying opportunity is found because there was time to look for it.

If you study Napoleon Hill’s quote closely, you will notice he doesn’t say some failures contain that seed. No, he says every adversity, every failure, every heartache. And the benefit is at least as good, and sometimes better. I believe the P.S. to this promise has to be… IF YOU WILL LOOK FOR IT. 

If life has given you a handful of seeds, or even a bucketful, with no benefits… start looking. Prepare the soil, plant the seeds, water them, and give them sunshine with this process. 

Here are the steps to make it easier for you to remember:

1. What happened?
2. Was it major or minor?
3. What % am I responsible for?
4. What lesson have I learned?
5. What can I put in place to prevent it from happening again?

Will you try this process?